Friday, July 10, 2009

Arshes!

I am often ridiculed by friends and colleagues for my unflinching optimism, even when all the evidence suggests otherwise, I like to look on the bright side. After 40 years of disappointment and failure I still believe that England might win the football World Cup. Kate Moss is still unmarried, I am still unmarried. Stop laughing now, you never know, oh all right, maybe you do. Dapper Max will perhaps, sometime in the future, learn the recipe for proper cheese on toast and make up for his errors on quarter final day 2003. And Steve may one day get a round in, ha ha.


But perhaps the next two paragraphs will stretch the limits of feasibility even more than the examples given above. Here we go. Deep breath. England can still win the first Ashes test in Cardiff. There i've said it. I know that it is a long shot, Ponting and Katich looked as vulnerable as a titanium Rhinocerous yesterday, giving only a single half chance between them in about 4 hours of cricket. England's bowling, one or two brief spells aside, looked lacklustre, devoid of ideas and lacking in self belief. But, and this is a big but, today is another day.


Yesterday is gone, today, Katich and the rodent-like Ponting are new batsmen, fresh in. The bowlers have had a night to sleep on the failures of Thursday, to analyse where they went wrong. Pick up a couple early doors today and who knows what could happen. We were told this pitch would spin, that is why Swann and Monty are in the team, and it might still do. If England can get the Aussies out without them getting a lead then this effectively becomes a two-day game. A two game in which Australia have to bat on a fifth day pitch and England have two spinners that can, just maybe, win the game. Expect England to recover some bowling pride today and skittle the Aussies sometime between lunch and tea with the scores about level. At close the hosts will be 120 for 2.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Into The Ashes - Day 2

So, a tremendous day yesterday, rounded off with a quite wonderful homemade chick pea and mushroom tikka massala, all cooked in a world record time of 22.456 minutes. The cricket turned out pretty good too, with England just having the edge thanks to 6 of the top 7 all chipping in with decent runs. Just a shame that no-one had the patience to really kick on, and punish the well below par Aussie attack.


The only downside, cricket wise at least, was Channel Five's woeful highlights package at 7.15pm. As if only having a paultry 45 minutes of highlights on terrestrial television was not bad enough, why let Five spoil it for everyone. Mark Nicholas was great in 2005 as he fronted the live coverage, guiding us through the drama and tension like a friendly uncle. On Five though, he attempted to use the same gravitas as if we all hadn't been listening to the radio, or glued to the internet all day following the action. In fact the only thing more wasteful than Five's use of their 45 minutes, was Pietersen's getting out shot. Just under 9 minutes of the show was lost to adverts, or the never ending Wine advert from the firm kindly sponsoring proceedings. And do we really need 3 minutes of Simon Hughes sitting in the back of a lorry showing us slo-mo's of Ricky Ponting's huddle. The analyst was a great innovation when Channel 4 had all day to fill, but in a highlights show? Why? Channel Five need to realise that we are tuning in to see all the fours, wickets and catches we were told about on the radio earlier, not to find out the frigging score.


As for the Aussies, I would like to give a special mention to Peter Siddle for simply looking like such a reprehensible antipodean. Just seeing his snarling, sunblock covered, freckly boat race charging in made me, in an instant, forget that there was no Gilchrist or Glenn '5-0 to us mate' McGraaaaaaaaaaaaaath to aim my buckets of scorn at this summer. In the end my prediction of 302/5 came up short on both fronts and Straussy failed to get the ton that was there for the taking if any of our batsmen had shown some real patience. Still being wrong has never stopped me from spouting my opinion before and I don't intend to let it now. Expect England to just sneak over the 400 hundred mark today with Stuart Broad playing an attractive cameo and getting a quick 30. The Aussies will then find that this years bowling attack has as much about it as in 2005 and be teetering on 200/7 by close of play.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Into the Ashes - DAY 1

So finally it is here, the first morning of the first test of The Ashes. The phoney war, as they say, is now over. Both Andrew Strauss and Ricky 'the rat' Ponting will have their teams prepared to the maximum. Australia will field the spinner Nathan Hauritz who, observers in the know suggest, will get as much turn as an articulated lorry in a wardrobe. Brett Lee, everyone's favourite Aussie is out, unlucky Brett. England meanwhile have picked two spinners, Monty and Swanny, both of whom have the capability to win a test match. Particularly on a final day pitch that has NEVER seen a five day test in its life.


More importantly though, I hear you cry, how have your preparations been Dave??? Well I will tell you. Having not slept too well due to the heat over the last couple of weeks, last night I finally got some decent kip in. Dinner last night was some lovely lamb chops (Welsh, since you ask) and (English) baby new potatoes. This morning my plan of walking to work was scuppered by rain, rather here than Cardiff, so I endured a face to armpit style tube ride. Breakfast today has consisted of two slices of toast, a bowl of muesli and a rather large, ahem, banana. Enough about food though, the good news is I have managed to rig up an elaborate wiring system allowing me to listen to the morning session at work. A long lunch will follow in the George from 13:40 taking in much (if not all) of the afternoon's play. The even better news, though, is that I work with an Aussie, so fingers crossed I can give him a proper goading later today.


England will bat first on a brand new pitch against a depleted Australian attack. Predictions? England 302/5 at close later with Straussy cementing his authority with a patient ton. Your thoughts appreciated below!

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Newcastle could pay dearly for summer of uncertainty

As we struggle, manfully, through this barren, football-less period of the calendar year, only the Serbian Under-21’s to keep us company, there is at least a light at the end of the tunnel. The excitement of what to come is always palpable as the new seasons fixtures are released. Text messages, phone calls and emails fly across the country, all asking familiar questions.
‘Who’ve we got first?’
‘When are we playing United?’
‘Guess what, we’ve got Liverpool on your birthday!’
But for one club the release of the fixtures on Wednesday did not promote excitement, nor did it whet the appetite for the big kick off in August. No, for Newcastle United and their long suffering, self proclaimed, best supporters in the world it was one more kick in the goolies, like. Finding out when you are playing Peterborough at home or Scunthorpe away does not quite muster the same sense of anticipation.


Next season for the Geordies was always going to be extremely tough. Every side that arrives at St James Park will pop ten men behind the ball, sit back, and wonder if there are actually more empty seats in the stadium than there are full seats when they play at home. Away matches will not be much easier, Newcastle are going to be the prize scalp next season, they will receive no gimmes. Games will be raised, grounds will be full and expectations will be high when the Magpies roll into town. Given this was always going to be the case, it was vital that the ongoing upheaval at the club was sorted out swiftly and without too much drama.


But Newcastle, as we should have expected, are making life as difficult as possible for themselves. Almost four weeks after sliding meekly into the Championship it appears that nothing has been done to begin the push for promotion. The club is up for sale again, having spent much of last season being touted around various billionaire benefactors. Unable to locate a buyer last season, when still a Premiership outfit, what chance does Mike Ashley have of making a sale now? Answers on a postcard, blu-tacked in the newsagent’s window, to that one please. More worrying still, is that while their competitors make signings, strengthen squads and prepare to beat them next season, Newcastle do not even have a manager. No players have joined the club, their has been no overhaul to the squad that was found so wanting last time around. What the Geordies need in their team next season is fighters, players with passion for the cause and experience of the Championship. They better hope there are some left for sale once they finally deem it necessary to enter the market.


The football league is chock-a-block full of clubs who felt relegation from the Premiership was a mere blip. That they would be back within a season better than ever, refreshed from a little stint slumming it, seeing how the other half lives. Nottingham Forest, Leeds United, Sheffield Wednesday and Southampton are just four clubs who enjoyed long-term, top flight status but now find themselves languishing in the Championship or below. There is nothing wrong with the Football League, it is packed full of proper clubs, proper fans and proper excitement, 90 per cent of clubs in all three divisions would fancy their chances of promotion as the season begins. One thing though, is for certain. Newcastle had better get their house in order, and fast, because getting out of the Championship can be easy, getting out at the right end is the tricky part.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Armchair fans in good company as T20 gets interesting

Twenty20 cricket has been around for a few years now and it is unlikely to be disappearing anytime soon. The TV companies love it. A game of cricket that lasts for just 4 hours and has boundaries and excitement galore. The authorities love it too, grounds are full midweek as people come after work to watch the action and consume pricey food and beer. Personally, I wasn’t too sure about the format, until this week that is. In the first 6 days we have seen big upsets, thousands of runs and numerous enormous sixes. And if all that wasn’t good enough, we have finally stumbled across a form of cricket at which Australia are rubbish.


The tournament began with an almighty bang. No one gave the Netherlands a chance in the opening match. Even as England clocked up a less than impressive 162 in their 20 overs the upset never looked likely. But the hosts bowling and fielding faltered and the Dutch, inspired by the cavalier Tom de Grooth, kept the game alive into the final over. Stuart Broad will learn a lot of lessons during a career currently in its infancy, none however, will be as clearly visible on his face as the realization that he had handed the match to the Dutch courtesy of overthrows. Still England recovered two days later to put Pakistan to the sword and make it through to the Super 8's. Paul Collingwood's team much improved in their second game; the fielding in particular of a much higher standard. No host has ever won a major tournament, in Cricket, Rugby or Football, after losing the first match, but maybe that scare against the Netherlands is just what England needed to fire them up.


Almost as pleasing as England's progress to the next round was Australia's early elimination from the tournament. Ricky Ponting's side may have been in the toughest group but no one expected them to be ousted from proceedings so early on. Ponting may make light of the exit but make no mistake, the Aussies hate losing, even in Twenty20 cricket where defeat for them is becoming common. Whether this minor catastrophe has an effect on the Ashes will become apparent later in the summer, but for now lets just enjoy the memory of Brett Lee repeatedly bowling no balls, and being hit for consecutive sixes by Chris Gayle.


So while the Australians, hang around in hotel rooms, bitterly watching the action on Sky Sports, the Super 8 stage begins on Thursday without them. The winner will surely come from the trio of South Africa, who have looked imperious so far, with Graeme Smith and Jacques Kallis both in great form. India, the reigning champions, with the most Twenty20 experience in their squad. Or Sri Lanka who have the bizarre action of Lasith Malinga to call on. Elsewhere Pakistan could be dark horses after doing to the Dutch what England could not. Special mention too, should go to Ireland for once again progressing in a major tournament. Many will be surprised at their progress but anyone who remembers the last world cup in the Caribbean will not. So let's all sit back, switch on the TV and enjoy the business end of the tournament. Pass the remote, Ricky.

Friday, June 5, 2009

Steve Bruce’s move to Sunderland will be felt far down the leagues

So, as the 2008/09 football season fades into the past, with just a couple of International games to come, our thoughts turn to summer. Ahead of us are three long, hot months of cricket, with the Twenty20 World Cup and the Ashes to look forward to. But it is not cricket that is dominating the headlines this week. The football transfer market may still be in its infancy, the Gareth Barry move the only major business so far, but the perilous managerial merry-go-round has started spinning. It is time for vacancies to be advertised, loyalties to be questioned and wage packets to be discussed.

The ride began on the last day of the season with Ricky Sbragia stepping down as Sunderland boss citing the need for a ‘big name’ manager at the Stadium of Light. For Sunderland the right man happens to be the fiercely loyal, lifetime Newcastle supporter, Steve Bruce. That ‘wor’ Steve has moved to pastures new is nothing to be surprised about, this is Bruce’s seventh post in a managerial career spanning just 11 years. The highlights of which include a two month spell at Wigan and not much longer at Crystal Palace both in 2001. Bruce has signed a three year contract at Sunderland, it is anybody’s guess what will happen if a larger club comes calling in the mean time.

Predictably, Bruce’s appointment will prompt a whole host of managerial moves. Firstly Wigan must fill their vacancy, with Swansea City’s Roberto Martinez the likely choice if rumours are to be believed. Martinez has just guided Swansea to their best finish since 1993, 8th in the Championship, having constructed an exciting young side. If he does depart, then it is a safe bet that some of his players will follow and The Jacks will have to start again. The fans, new signing Nathan Dyer and the board will never know what might have been achieved, had the Spaniard remained in-situ. Who will take charge next at the Liberty Stadium? Who will be the next club searching for a manager?

North of the border Gordon Strachan’s resignation has sparked an avalanche of speculation over who might be his replacement. Rumours suggest that Burnley’s Owen Coyle and West Bromwich Albion’s Tony Mowbray are among the favourites for the post. However, it seems inconceivable that either of these managers would want to leave their respective clubs for Celtic Park. Yes there is the lure of Champions League football, but is that really enough to warrant leaving good jobs in England? Coyle has just got his Burnley team promoted via the playoffs, and now has the chance to pit his wits against the assorted talents of the Premier League.

Meanwhile, despite suffering relegation, Mowbray still has the unflinching support of board and fans alike at The Hawthorns. Another promotion next season and the Baggies might just be in a position to establish themselves in the top flight. Celtic may be a big club, the attraction sweetened for Mowbray as a former player and Coyle as a lifelong fan. But why swap these current challenges for a two horse race with only 4 meaningful league games a season?

What is certain, is that in the coming months more managers will leave clubs that have offered them there big chances. Brendan Rogers, for example, has left Watford for rivals Reading, just 6 months after being given his first opportunity as a manager. Loyalty has little place in modern football, but for every manager that complains of impatience when sacked in early Autumn, one will happily leave a job half done, if a bigger club comes knocking.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Twenty20 absentees could prove crucial for England

The ICC world Twenty20 cup begins at Lord’s on the 6th June when England take on the Netherlands. The finest limited overs cricketers from all around the world are gathered for a month long slog fest, to decide the champions of this, the infant form of the game. Sadly missing from the galaxy of stars on display will be one man. And not just any man either. Andrew Flintoff, the most expensive player on show during the recent IPL, arguably the best and possibly the most recognisable cricketer in the world.


Doubtlessly Flintoff will be sorely missed. What event wouldn’t be poorer without such a fiery competitor? His batting can be explosive while the effort he puts into every delivery bowled can be seen written on his face. The coaches report that he should be running by next week and so it is conceivable that England could have used him in the latter stages of the tournament. However, it is the correct decision for him to be absent with the Ashes series starting on July 8th. Flintoff and the England management both know that summer 2009 will not be remembered for the Twenty20 cricket but for the battle to come with our antipodean cousin’s.


The Australian trio of Michael Hussey, Mitchell Johnson and Ricky Ponting all opted out of the IPL to concentrate on the Ashes and are now fit and fresh for the challenges to come. Freddie has five weeks to get himself into peak condition before the first test in Cardiff so lets keep our fingers crossed that there are no more setbacks. Andrew Strauss’s team were excellent in vanquishing the West Indies but the Aussies fear Flintoff and England are certainly stronger with him in the side.


So let us sit back and enjoy some good fun cricket over the next month. It will be interesting to see if England can sustain the momentum gained in winning the one day games against The Windies. Paul Collingwood will be in charge of England for the tournament and this could turn out to be an unwitting masterstroke. Strauss is absent because of his unsuitability to the 20 over game, but this could work in the English causes favour. Like Flintoff, the skipper now has over a month to prepare for Ponting’s tourists, let’s hope he spends it wisely and England will be ready. After all, the T20 may provide thrills and excitement for the cricketing public but it is merely an appetiser for the main course that is the Ashes.